A Runner’s Guide to the Ork Underground

Tully - 01.06.2013 1:31PM

Everybody who lives in Seattle knows the basics about the Ork Underground—stretches all over the sprawl, unfriendly outside the tourist areas if you’re not an ork or a troll, only accessible via two points if you’re just looking to goggle at the trogs and snap trid photos for the folks back home. Local runners know there are a lot more entry and exit points if you pay the right people and aren’t a racist drekhead. The Underground can be an invaluable resource for those who respect it—but the keyword is “respect.” You’re coming into our homes, chummers. Act like it.

You can find all kinds of posts about where things are in the Underground. This isn’t one of them. Instead, I’ll cover some of the stuff that you’d be surprised how many social deviants don’t realize or don’t want to know.

>>>>>[Tully’s an ork and a longtime Underground resident. He sometimes ruffles feathers because he wants the Underground to be more accepting of non-orks and trolls.]<<<<<

—Bung (16:24:12/05-01-54)

The first thing to know if you plan to use the Underground for your handy escape route is: bring money. If you’ve got an ork or troll on your team (especially one with friends below) you might get off cheap, but remember you’re asking people to take a risk to help you out. Make it worth their while.

>>>>>[That seems obvious, but what some people don’t realize is that the risk isn’t just with the authorities. A lot of Underground residents don’t want anything to do with illegal stuff. They just want to live their lives and be left alone. They take a dim view of fellow residents who troop heavily armed strangers through their backyards.]<<<<<

—Bull (20:52:04/05-01-54)

The second, and arguably more important, bit of advice I can give you is that if you plan to do this regularly, make an effort to cultivate friendships in the Underground. Hang out in the Big Rhino and buy a round of hurlg for the crowd. Make it known that you might be available to help people out with their problems. Drek, show up with the latest Neil the Ork Barbarian sim or hard-to-get toy for somebody’s kid. In other words, treat your contacts like friends, not resources.

>>>>>[This seems even more obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many socially challenged runners treat the Underground like some kind of theme park and the residents as animatronic objects there for their amusement. We’re just a neighborhood like any other in Seattle—ours just happens to not see much of the sun]<<<<<

—Trogdor (04:31:07/05-03-54)

>>>>>[Watch yourself, though: the Underground is an insular community, and if you’re not an ork or a troll (or perhaps a dwarf), nothing you do is going to make you fit in. You’re a visitor, and an outsider. Trust me, you do not want to get yourself tangled in too deep with the Underground’s affairs if you don’t have reason to.]<<<<<

—Hatchetman (14:11:17/05-04-54)